209. give credence
There will always be obstacles on our path. When we stumble upon them, most of us will see it as a reason to stop and complain about our misfortune, instead of recognizing it as an opportunity to gain a deeper sense of satisfaction with the process. The things that come up along the way will definitely test our resolve — and to a point, maybe that’s why they’re their — but if we can think of them as more than a simple hinderance, we can use their appearance to our benefit. Instead of complaining, give credence to the obstacles that show up along the way, because what they will do is give us more to overcome, and overcoming them will provide us with more gratification on our continual pursuit toward progress.
208. five years of inspiration
We can all benefit from having someone to look up to, but we make the mistake of looking in the wrong places. We see successful people in areas that pique our particular interests and think, “Oh, that person has it all figured out, I’m going to walk their path.” But that path can never be ours, nor should we want it to be.
Instead of searching outside ourselves for inspiration, we should be thinking about the person we want to be 5 years down the line, and aspire to become that person everyday. The trick is in never allowing ourselves to think we be able to close the gap, but that it always remains an equidistant 5 years ahead, So, with each new accomplishment in the present, we add to the success of that future vision of ourselves, providing constant and relevant inspiration for progressing day after day.
be prolific, not perfect
“It’s better to be prolific than perfect.” — Joe Polish
Here is a quick practical application of this principle from Ray Bradbury:
Write 52 short stories in a year rather than one novel. Write one short story a week.
“I defy you,” he said, “to write 52 bad ones. It is not possible.”
At the end of the year, you will have 52 works of art instead of just one, imperfect novel.
“Perfect” is a mirage that no one knows how to reach.
Create the practice. Follow with doing the work.
207. the dizziness of freedom
One of the scariest parts about embarking on a new journey is not knowing where it may take us. We hope for the best, while at the same time harbor anxiety about what is to come of our decisions; no matter whether it’s a new dietary regimen, a new career or a new relationship. And while each situation can be promising, they still come with a bit of unease, which Kierkegaard cleverly surmises this anxiety as “the dizziness of freedom.”
The dizziness doesn’t come from fear of failure, so much as it is about the unknown of what lies ahead. The freedom to look down that new path, with no end in sight, is akin to peering into a deep hole where the bottom can’t be seen. The anxiety you feel is not from fear of falling, because you are freely holding onto the safety rail, but from the mystery of the void.
The freedom we possess to make our own choices will always be met with a bit of anxiety because we are always worried about the unknown, even if that path we’re staring down is exactly where we want to be. But, that unknown is part of our journey, what creates our story, and pushes the evolution of us. As long as that path we set out on is inline with who we want to become, we don’t really need to see the end because we will be able to create it as we go.
206. just do it
We’ve grown up in a world where we need to ask for everything. Can I have some food, Mom? Can I go to the bathroom, Teacher? Can I have a raise, Boss? It has taught us that we cannot attain anything without the approval of others.
When we have an idea we want to pursue, instead of starting, we fall back into the mode of seeking approval from friends or family. We willingly forgo taking the necessary action because, in a sense, we are waiting for permission. What we don’t realize, is that most often our search for approval is just an excuse to not get started. So, if you want to do something, then do it. Stop looking for approval because it’s just an excuse for inaction.
205. denial
Life is a constant battle with decision. Weighing one option against another. We think, “Should I stay or should I go?” It’s equally beautiful as it is stressful, in that we have the ability to be the creators of our lives and at the same time we’re constantly confronted with tension of, “Am I making the right decision?”
Forcing to reconcile the weight of one decision against the other, we find ourselves facing denial in some capacity. Yet, the thing about denial is that it’s just willpower at work. We can try our best to resist what is truly calling us, but we need to remember that willpower is fatiguable.
If something is capturing your attention so fully, pulling you away from where you thought you needed to be, you may as well lean into the thing that is causing the change because it’s inevitable that it’s going to happen. So, you either take control, or let indecision consume you to the point where you are so lost that circumstance ultimately creates a situation where the outcome is made for you.
204. find it
Don’t fall into the trap of believing successful people are all that different than you by thinking they possess some mysterious gift, or are mystically endowed with prosperity, and then tear yourself down wondering whether or not you’ve been so blessed. If you’re waiting around for inspiration to light a fire under you, you’re wasting your time because it’s not going to happen. You have to go out and find it. If you want more out of life, it’s up to you to cultivate the ambition that lies within.
203. inspiring passion
Discovering a passion is a wonderful feeling. It’s a burning sensation that ignites a path to a new experience. The light of it’s explosion allows us to see new possibilities that we may move on to when the flame inevitably dies out. But what about those passions that don’t burn out? What differentiates those that burn out from the ones that develop into something that lights our world on fire?
It comes down to inspiration. Normally, we need inspiration to pursue the passion. We need the promise of an end result to continue the pursuit. We think; if I practice this instrument, I can play music; if I workout, I can be fit; if I go back to college, I can get a new job. But if the results aren’t delivered fast enough our resolve wains in the process, and the fire dies out and we move on.
However, if we discover a passion that provides inspiration, instead of requiring it, it will simply grow over time because it aligns with the person we want to be. It’s the difference between working out because we need to be in shape for a wedding, and working out because it makes us feel good. It’s the difference between entering into a relationship because you’re lonely, versus entering it because you simply want to make the other person happy. The former requires inspiration, while the latter creates inspiration for the fire to burn brighter.
It seems that finding a passion that creates inspiration is rare, yet for those that do, they lead the lives we all aspire to. So, find a passion that inspires you to dive deeper into it.
202. law of attraction
We all want certain things, but most of the time, there’s a reason we don’t get them. We fail to realize that we need to embody the things we want to attract.
It’s the Law of Attraction. The idea that you attract what you are. It starts with how you approach the world, your beliefs and perspectives. If you’re not getting what you want, most likely you’re not embodying what you want to attract. You need to be honest with yourself and ask how are you showing up in the world because the energy you put out is the energy you’re going to attract.
Think, who is the person you need to be, to get the things that you’re after. Until you create the person that is reflective of the life you’re after, that person in the mirror will always look the same.
201. the sky is falling
If the power went out for a week, and we didn’t have access to the news or social media, would we still think the sky was falling? Eventually, someone would venture outside and look up to either confirm or deny. Chances are, if that person could go out and look up, the sky isn’t falling. Either way, how would anyone know differently if they kept all their attention on the continuous stream of messages and images telling them about the sky falling?
It seems that our perception of reality is no longer our own, but developed for us instead. Unlike the prisoners in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, we aren’t chained to the wall, forced to look upon the shadows thinking they’re real, instead, we welcome the stories about the shadows, all the while giving up our freedom to investigate. We reserved ourselves to the same fate because we’ve come to blindly believe what we’re told, making it part of our narrative and the way we see the world. The most troubling part is that we don’t actually believe what we see, but see what we believe. Therefore, if we believe the sky is falling, then that is all we will see.
200. different direction
We all want a good life. Some of us think of it as a journey, others as a destination. There’s no right answer as both ultimately end in a similar fashion. We’ve all heard the argument that it is better to do what you love, yet at the same time we know it can be very hard to build a life around watching cat videos on YouTube. So where do we draw the line between enjoying the journey by doing what we love, and setting aside some of our enjoyment along the way to end up at an enviable destination? Some bit of sacrifice is necessary for either option, and that’s the struggle we all deal with.
We can all agree that life should be enjoyable. And, no one deserves anything less. But what happens if in the process of enjoying the journey, something comes along that makes you question the path you’ve chosen? That maybe a bit of sacrifice in one area is necessary for us to gain in another. At a fundamental level, if something shakes you so profoundly that it makes you stop and rethink your resolve about the path you’re on, then it is definitely worth paying attention to. It’s a rare occurrence that shouldn’t be ignored.
Maybe what we thought we were after just isn’t so anymore. And all the choices, successes and failures we’ve encountered up to this point, were just preparation for this moment. The funny thing is that, it just leads back to life being a journey, instead of a destination to reach. You can make all the plans you want, by either trying to create a life out of enjoyment or building one that you can enjoy in the future. But you still have to take it as it comes. Adjust your views as you encounter new perspectives, realign your trajectory, and always keep moving forward, even if it is in a different direction.
199. glued together
We are a collection of experiences. Assembled to the best of our ability. All our decisions, both good and bad, continually make us who we are. From the situations we thrive in, to the ones we barely survive; all are equally part of our story. As Joseph LeDoux puts it, “people don’t come preassembled but are glued together by life.”
Too often we are ashamed of where we came from, or where we currently are in life, but what we don’t realize is that these are just waypoints on our journey. We are always in the process of finding out who we are, and what we need to do to become the next version of ourselves. We needed the lessons of the hard times, the failures, the heartbreaks, to open up our hearts and minds to new possibilities.
No matter your station in life, you will always be a work in progress. The sooner you recognize this fact, the sooner you can embrace all experiences, good and bad, as part of the continual process of what makes you, You.
198. emotion vs feeling
We confuse the terms “emotion” and “feeling,” often using them interchangeably without realizing that we don’t run because we’re scared, we’re scared because we run. It’s the reaction to a stimulus that stirs our need for the meaning.
It’s our emotions that come first. They are the physiological response to a situation — fight, flight, freeze, or sexual arousal. Next comes the rush of feeling — fear, anger, love, happiness — that allows us to make sense of the situation by filling in the void created by the stimulus. It’s the cause and effect that constructs our narrative.
The funny thing is that the emotions that come from being caught in an earthquake can produce the same chemical reactions as sexual arousal. And, while our description of the events can be similarly described by exclaiming, “the earth moved,” they mean completely different things contextually. Perhaps, that’s why risky behavior can be fun. Walking the line can stir emotions that make us feel more alive, producing feelings that are integral for our story.
197. don’t get lost
Don’t get lost in the vehicle on your way to the destination.
Our vehicle is the profession, or path, we take in hopes that it will deliver us to the destination we seek — one of happiness, family, health, love, or wealth.
We choose a profession with the intention of making enough money to afford a life we desire. It’s a necessary evil. We need one to get to the other, but sometimes we get so caught up in the 9 to 5 grind, and lost in what life is meant to be that we lose sight of why we started this whole process to begin with, inevitably allowing our profession to become self-fulfilling, instead of letting it lead to the true fulfillment we’re after.
In other words, the vehicle has become the destination. We’ve made the mistake of defining our lives as “what we do,” instead of what we’re after.
questioning community
What is a community? Any standard dictionary will define it as a group of people living together in a particular place, practicing a common ownership over the shared area. Generally there is no mention of moral standards when asked to uncover the meaning of a community, but why? Shouldn’t we wish to hold ourselves and our collective society to a standard that promotes the well-being of everyone. This definition seems to be pretty generic and may or may not fit the readers definition of community, yet its ubiquitous usage has become used with considerable regularity across a vast range of social settings, its prominence in the professional and political discourse is matched only by the vagueness and variability of the meaning it portends to achieve.
196. your thoughts
Your thoughts belong to you, or you belong to your thoughts.
You either move forward with a clear intention on what needs to be done by focusing on the task at hand, or you’re so lost in the outcomes of “what If,” that those thoughts start to take center stage.
When you belong to your thoughts, you’re no longer acting from a place of creative intention, you’re acting out of a response to something that hasn’t happened yet. Thinking, “what if they don’t like me?” or “what if the work I produce isn’t good enough?” or “what if I fail?”, all steal your focus from where it needs to be. Yes, to a certain point the outcome matters because we all want to do good work, but if your focus is solely on the outcome rather than the process, both will suffer.
off topic: can you love more than one person?
It’s very rare to find someone that can be everything to you. So we weigh the pros and cons, sacrificing one thing for the other. Ultimately giving up on certain things to be happy in others. It’s a balance.
Can giving up on things we want every make us truly happy? Can we find a way to have everything?
I guess that means challenging the very foundation of what we call love, or relationships in general.
Love is a shared unity. Both beautiful and painful.
When we think of love, it’s always exclusive, between only one person and another. But why? Can’t we love one person, and another equally? Why are there limits? Where did they come from? It’s most likely from our necessity to acquire rare things, call them possessions, and hold onto them so that no one else can have them. But this sacrifice works both ways — in the classical sense of monogamous relationships — as the possessor is just as limited as the possessee when it comes to true fulfillment. Both are having to give up something on their way to meet somewhere in the middle. The question is, why should we limit our fulfillment to one outlet? Why is that even a good idea? We diversify our bonds to make more money. Why can’t we receive love or things we need from multiple sources? Wouldn’t we be more fulfilled? This works on the presupposition that if we had everything we needed from multiple outlets, we would ultimately be a better person overall. But in general, we don’t. We are all longing for one thing or another. The question is why?
I think it all comes back to tradition, and what we think is “right.” If you repeat a “wrong” enough times it eventually is thought to be right. This isn’t to say that loving one person is wrong if they provide you with everything you could ever need and ask for. FUCK I wish I had that, but I don’t, which leads me down this rabbit hole of how did we get here. Why is the current structure — you only get one person to love — all that we have when we are so very different and continually changing throughout our lives? What if you find someone worth entering into a relationship with, yet down the road they become less and less of the person you fell for in the beginning, but just enough that they aren’t worth moving on from because you’ve built a family and a life you’re not ready to move on from? Now those sacrifices that were bearable in the beginning are starting to get to you, so are we expected to just deal with the decline? Why can’t we, for lack of a better word, “supplement” what we need at that point? It just comes back to finding the love you need in different place. Wouldn’t that be better?
It seems like even asking that question is off limits to most people. And I know personally that it is absolutely shattering to not be someone’s everything, but at the same time it makes sense. We are all so uniquely different, so how can we expect to fulfill someone’s every need (outside of finding soulmates or whatever)? It really comes down to what are people okay with entering into. We can have sacrifice, or we can try to have it all. I don’t have any answer here, I just want things I can’t have.
195. sparks
Whether we realize it or not, we’re all searching to fulfill the next part of ourselves. Our conscious decisions don’t always align with our subconscious needs. We can find ourselves so far down a path of our own making, thinking we have everything in place, yet still be caught off-guard by the smallest of things. Why? Because it’s something we needed.
Pay attention to the sparks. A look. A feeling. A laugh. A touch. All of the small things that stir something inside of you. They matter. They may not be able to provide you with the life you’re currently after, but they may be able to show you what you’re missing.
194. in line
Are your goals in line with our values?
You have to remember that if you say “yes” to one thing, most likely you’re saying “no” to someone or something else. It’s not necessarily good or bad, right or wrong, it’s just what it is.
That decision in itself helps clarify your values, and understand your priorities. Both of which lead to your identity, and the way the world sees you.
If you are acting in congruence with your values, ideally those values are tied to the person you want to become. So, in practice; instead of trying to be somebody that tries to do something, become that person who does it. Instead of thinking it’s important for me to go workout, think I’m the person who works out. By simply reframing the language you start to become that person, and because we inevitably are what we do, sometimes we just need a little change in language to set us off in the right direction.
193. don’t copy past successes
Your job is not to be a better version of your older self. That older version of you is gone forever. Your job is to be the best version of who you are in this moment and forever continue to build upon that momentum throughout your life.
Don’t try to replicate something that worked in the past. Move forward with the understanding that the 2.0 version of yourself will never be able to bring in the 3.0.
There is a philosophy in the upper echelons of the strength training community that share this idea. It operates on the principle that the training methods a person used to achieve a 600lb squat will not fulfill their desire to reach 800lbs. In other words, the strategies employed to achieve one success will not serve your efforts going further. The same goes for life. Whatever we’ve found useful to arrive at a successful point in our life can never deliver us to the next level. To continually ascend we must recognize our adaptations and change according to our new surroundings.