370. i would, but…
“I would, but…”
Most of us keep some version of this sentence ready to explain why we aren’t doing the things we say we want. The wording changes with the situation, but the structure stays the same. “I would” acknowledges the person we claim to want to become. “But” explains why nothing in our current life should be expected to change.
“I would be a runner, but I’m too heavy.”
“I would lose some weight, but I love snacks.”
“I would be consistent, but something always comes up.”
This is an extremely convenient arrangement. We get to keep the aspiration without enduring any of the inconvenience normally required to achieve it. We can admire the runner we might have been, mourn the body we nearly built, and speak fondly of the discipline we would undoubtedly possess under more favorable circumstances.
The unrealized version of ourselves remains permanently impressive because it’s never required to do anything. This person wakes up early, trains consistently, eats appropriately, goes to bed at a reasonable hour, drinks in moderation, and prepares meals after church on Sundays. They’re lean but strong, jacked but mobile, disciplined but never inconvenienced by it. Their joints never hurt. Their schedule always cooperates. Workdays end on time, the gym is never busy, and social life conveniently aligns with their intentions.
Through extraordinary luck, they have acquired every result without being subjected to any of their ordinary requirements.
We tend to describe this imaginary person as our potential. This is flattering, since potential is one of the few personal qualities that can survive indefinitely without evidence. But at some point the story collides with a basic requirement of reality: strength must eventually be demonstrated, fitness has to appear somewhere outside your intentions, and consistency has to show up in your actual calendar. Potential, however, can remain pristine for decades as long as it’s never tested too seriously.
A person who has never committed can always believe that commitment would have worked. This may be why “I would, but…” is so appealing. It protects more than comfort. It protects possibility.
If you take up running and discover you’re slow enough to turn the local run club into an accidental walking group, the fantasy of yourself as a natural runner takes a hit. If you download a diet plan and lose weight so slowly that your progress photos look like the same person standing slightly further away, you may have to confront the fact that your body is governed by the same tedious processes as everyone else’s. If you train seriously for a year and still build less muscle than a stranger on Instagram appeared to build over one suspiciously productive summer, the illusion starts to crack. Better, perhaps, to remain impressive in theory than ordinary in public.
The modern fitness industry is particularly well suited to this arrangement because it sells identities more effectively than it explains routines. You’re encouraged to imagine yourself as lean, athletic, powerful, disciplined, and admired. You’re shown the morning sunlight, the fitted clothing, the visible abs, the triumphant finish line, and the contemplative moment after training when a person stares into the distance as though their squat session has revealed the meaning of existence.
You’re shown considerably less meal preparation. There are fewer cinematic montages of someone weighing rice, declining another drink, repeating the same basic exercises, managing an irritated tendon, taking a walk after dinner, or going to bed while everyone else is still enjoying themselves.
“Several hundred ordinary decisions repeated without applause” is harder to market as a transformation.
So we learn to desire the evidence of a practice without developing much affection for the practice itself. We want to be runners, but running is repetitive and initially uncomfortable. We want to be strong, but strength requires us to remain beginners long enough to become competent. We want to be lean, but leanness asks us to place limits on something designed to be pleasurable. We want more energy, but we’re reluctant to surrender the late-night hours we spend recovering from the day by making the next day worse.
These desires aren’t necessarily false. Humans are perfectly capable of wanting incompatible things. You may genuinely want to lose weight and genuinely want to eat whatever you feel like eating. You may want more muscle and still only feel like training when it’s convenient. You may value health and still choose immediate comfort whenever the choice presents itself.
Wanting costs little because desire is easy. The cost appears in the decision. When two desired outcomes pull in opposite directions, immediate comfort tends to prevail.
Your stated preference is the one you describe. Your practiced preference is the one your behavior repeatedly protects. This may sound harsh until we apply it to something other than fitness. A person might say they want to save money while spending it freely. We understand that they probably do want to put money in the bank, but they simply want the purchases more. Another person may say they want to read more, yet continually chooses television instead. Neither has necessarily lied, but their preferences have simply been ranked through action.
Fitness is no different. We just tend to treat the outcome as something of a mystery. “I don’t understand why I’m not losing weight,” someone says after explaining that weekdays are disciplined, weekends don’t count, restaurant meals can’t be tracked, alcohol is non-negotiable, and snacks are one of life’s only remaining pleasures.
The apparent mystery can usually be solved by the explanation alone.
None of this means every obstacle is an excuse. Some people work unpredictable hours, manage injuries, struggle financially, raise families, or carry other real constraints. Life does impose genuine limits, and a person with fewer resources may have to work considerably harder to produce the same visible result as someone whose circumstances support it.
But a real constraint and a permanent exemption are not the same thing. A constraint changes what you do. An exemption stops the discussion before it starts.
“I’m too heavy to run” may mean that running is currently painful and walking is the appropriate place to begin. It may also become a ceremonial phrase repeated for ten years while body weight continues to rise and walking is never attempted.
“I don’t have time to train” may mean that five weekly sessions are unrealistic. It doesn’t automatically explain why two shorter sessions are impossible, why no time can be allocated, or why several hours remain available for watching people cook food they’ll never make.
“I can’t track calories” may mean that precision feels tedious. Or it may become a permanent exemption from ever noticing what is being consumed, despite an otherwise remarkable ability to track likes, messages, money, steps, and streaming episodes.
A useful question is whether the obstacle is something you’re actually working around, or simply something you keep repeating as an explanation.
People often resent this question because excuses perform an important emotional service. They allow us to keep the goal while shifting the blame for not acting. We still get to say “I want this,” but the reason we haven’t done it becomes traffic, work, stress, other people, or anything except our own daily choices.
Work got busy. The holidays came. The weather turned cold. The gym was crowded. A shoulder started hurting. There was a birthday, then a vacation, then another birthday, followed by an unusually demanding week and a vague need to “reset.” Eventually the year itself can be blamed for having contained too many days.
This doesn’t make us uniquely weak. It makes us human. We prefer explanations that preserve our self-image. It’s easier to believe that circumstances blocked our progress than to admit we repeatedly chose other things.
Perhaps those choices were reasonable, though. There’s no moral requirement to become a runner. You’re not obligated to develop striated delts, perform pull-ups, track your food, or arrange your life around an increasingly ambitious deadlift goal. Training costs time and energy that could be spent elsewhere, and in many cases should be. Snacks really are enjoyable. Leisure has value. And sometimes staying up late is our only chance to gaze at the stars.
You’re allowed to prefer whatever you want. What becomes destructive is refusing to acknowledge the preference while continuing to judge yourself by the goal you keep abandoning.
A person can spend years carrying an aspiration that no longer reflects the life they actually want. The goal remains because it sounds admirable, because it once mattered, because people like them are supposed to care about it, or because letting it go feels like admitting defeat.
So they continue saying they want to run, although they don’t want to run. They just want to be the kind of person who runs. Those are different desires.
Perhaps they imagine that runners are lean, energetic, and disciplined. Perhaps the identity represents something they feel they lost. The mistake is assuming that someone must become a runner to recover it, or that repeatedly failing to run proves something shameful about themselves.
Some goals are directions. Others are decorations that shape the story we tell ourselves about who we are. The only way to tell the difference is to examine what we are prepared to arrange our lives around.
When a goal repeatedly loses to every competing preference, there are three honest responses.
You can accept its terms. You can tolerate the inconvenience, begin badly, and allow your actions to become evidence.
You can renegotiate it. You may never become a track star, but you can walk each morning. You may not want the diet required to become exceptionally lean, but you can improve your health and lose a reasonable amount of weight. A smaller goal that actually governs behavior is more real than an impressive one that exists only in speech.
You can release it. You can admit that the outcome doesn’t matter enough to justify the cost. You can choose hobbies that don’t revolve around the gym. You can choose snacks. You can choose a body that reflects a less restrictive life and stop treating that decision as a personal tragedy.
You don’t have to pay every price. But you should stop expecting delivery on the things you continually refuse to purchase.
Perhaps you would be a runner, but you’re too heavy. Perhaps you would lose weight, but you love snacks. Or perhaps running and weight loss matter less to you than the comfort, pleasure, and freedom your current life provides.
That isn’t necessarily a confession of failure. It’s useful information. From there you can change your behavior, change the goal, or stop pretending the contradiction was forced upon you.
“I would, but…” can explain almost anything. Eventually, though, the life after “but” stops being an explanation and starts being the one you’ve been quietly choosing all along.
302. choose your circle wisely
We are the sum of the people we hold closest to us. If we aren’t careful in who we choose to share our time with, we risk creating a detrimental situation for the life we want. The people we surround ourselves with are either actively assisting and supporting our growth, or passively holding us back because their values are different than ours.
When hearing things like, “relax, you work too hard,” or “you can do it tomorrow” begin to weigh heavily on your conscience, it’s time to rethink your circle of friends. When you’re unsure if others are aligned with your values on the life you want, ask yourself the question: “when I spend time with this person or group of people, do I feel like I’m getting closer or further away from who I wan to be?” The answer may surprise you.
255. what fills your time
We start new habits with the best of intentions. Placing our effort into areas that will help us move ourselves closer to the person we want to become, but sometimes we lose the motivation that got us started in the first place. When this happens, the popular excuse of “there isn’t enough time,” always comes up. The funny thing about that is for as long as you held the habit, there was enough time to complete it.
So where is the disconnect? It’s not that you lack time, but your motivation waned, and that is okay. Not all habits are meant to stick. However, be mindful what occupies the time you previously spent on your habit of self-improvement. If what you replaced the habit with isn’t of equal value or doesn’t help you progress to the person you are trying to become then perhaps you should rethink what you’re giving up. For example, if I gave up the habit of writing because “I couldn’t find the time,” yet spent an hour a day on social media, then I am not making a decision my future-self will benefit from. However, if I give up the habit of writing because I wanted to focus more on making videos as a form of self-expression or the exploration of ideas, then that seems like a good trade off.
So pay attention to what fills your time. If the habit you currently have isn’t working for you, that’s okay, change it up, just don’t replace it with something that is going to waste the time it’s elimination frees up.
250. we are all the same
We have a tendency to put people on pedestals, turning them into saints or some “other” that is uniquely different than us. We create a separation between the lowly us and the extraordinary them. In doing so, we justify our lack of success or accomplishments because we aren’t built like the people we idolize. Unfortunately, we make the mistake of thinking those we look up to are somehow different than us without realizing that at one point they were just like us, looking up at someone else. But instead of letting that separation become an excuse not to strive to become more than they are, they used it as motivation, or influence, or encouragement that life is what you make it.
We are all the same. No one has mythical powers. Just because someone is accomplished, educated, successful, or in shape doesn’t mean that we cannot become any of those things. But if we live with the thought that those people we look up to are somehow built different than us or endowed with supernatural abilities, then it becomes easy for us to fall back on excuses saying we can’t accomplish those things. So, walk forward in this life knowing that you are no different that the people you look up to, but just at a different point on your journey.
222. what’s past is prologue
You get to be the narrator of your life’s story. There’s no rule that says you must be defined by your past. It doesn’t matter who you were, in only matters who you want to become. Don’t fall into the trap of using your past as an excuse that keeps you stuck in habits, attitudes, relationships, and situations that prevent you from growing. Take responsibility for the life you have. If it’s not what you want, then change the way you relate to your story. Base your identity and internal narrative on your future, not your past.
217. commitment
Commitment is a statement of what “is.” It’s an honest assessment of your true desire.
You know what you’re committed to, by the results of your actions, not by what you say your commitments are.
If you simply say you’re committed to a result, it’s easy to come up with stories, excuses and reasons why the circumstances aren’t in favor of delivering you to the outcome you say you want. Whereas, if you’re truly committed, none of those things cross your mind. Your inner narrative is reflective of your true desires and you do whatever it takes.
Be aware of your response to any conflict that arrises along the way to your stated commitments. Are they excuses that keep you from getting a result? Or, are they just obstacles along your path to the inevitable outcome you’re working toward? There is a distinctive difference. One being the stated, the other being the true. The sooner you can be honest with yourself about your commitments, the sooner you can take the action necessary to finally get what you desire.
180. life is what you make it
This year is the best example of the saying, “life is what you make it.”
Collectively, we’ve never had more downtime, nor more reason to improve ourselves and the way we do things. Yet, instead of taking advantage of this literal “once in a lifetime opportunity,” we squander the abolition of our old distractions by replacing them with new ones.
Old complaints of not having time to accomplish something were no longer valid this year, but did people get things done? No, they replaced not having time with another excuse.
The problem is not the absence of time, or need, or want, but the absence of responsibility to do what the fuck you need to do.
The constant complaint of “this is the worst year ever” is nothing more than people’s reliance on distraction and therefore absolving them from taking the responsibility to do the things necessary to improve upon their current situation.
For myself, this has probably been one of the best years of my life. Perhaps that is partly due to the fact that I am an introvert. Want me to stay home? Not talk to anyone? NO FUCKING PROBLEM. But at the same time that opened up a lot of free time that was not filled with Netflix binges, or being glued to the constant fear mongering bullshit of the mainstream media. My time was filled with doing the work necessary to be a better version of myself. Creating habits, healing old traumas, and always practicing a growth mindset.
None of this is to say that I didn’t experience my share of troubles. I found love and lost it all within a short window. Heartbreak is never easy. Coupled with the greatest tragedy of all — gym closures — and it would be easy for me to seek comfort in distractions. But, like I said, it comes down to mindset, and believing in the saying “life is what you make it.”
There is always a choice to make with how you respond to any situation. Choose wisely.
171. break free
People don’t realize how much agency we have for change. We think we’re born into a specific mindset with certain predispositions where we fall accustomed to saying “that’s just the way I am,” not realizing that we are actually making choices at every moment. Unfortunately, too often we make choices that don’t serve us.
For example, I’m sure you’ve heard a friend say something along the lines of “I really hate my job, but I can’t find something else because…” or “I am really tired of the way I look, but I can’t find the time to improve because…” or “I am not happy in this relationship, but I can’t change it because…” And then every time you offer a suggestion, it is met with a variety of excuses to keep them right where they are. They’ll say “I can’t do this because of this, that, or the other thing.”
It’s important to understand that just like our friends, we find reasons to stay in situations that are no longer desirable. Change is hard, but to either stay where you are or to move forward is still a choice. Saying “I can’t do this because…” is the same as saying “I can do this because…” as both are reflective of a choice we make with ourselves to continue to either fit within the narrative we tell ourselves or break free to develop a new one.
The idea that shines through the inability to act on what we want is that change is still desirable, but usually what we want is for someone or something else to change, not us. What most people miss is that it is you who is going to need to change — in mindset, outlook, actions, etc. — to actually discover what you’re after.
You’re never going to get the new job if you find excuses as to why you can’t get out of the one you have. You’re never going to lose the weight if you continue to find excuses for not doing the things necessary for you to get the look, and acquire the confidence you desire. You’re never going to leave the relationship you’re in if you continue to turn off the feelings you’re after.
If nothing else, we are the cumulative effect of the choices we make. It is time to recognize that if those choices aren’t pushing you in the direction you wish to go, then they are keeping you from getting there. Sometimes you have to break the mirror to see what is beyond yourself.
64. excuses
We all want something different, yet we’re too scared to try. Instead of facing fears that allow us to become who we want to be, we insist on making excuses. The problem is, all excuses are valid. It’s a trap anyone can fall into. For example, I often hear “I want to lose weight, but I can’t eat like that” or “I wish I could look like that, but I don’t have the discipline to go to the gym.” While I appreciate the honesty, it’s really a bunch of bullshit. What these people fail to understand is that they are more interested in looking for a way out, than a way through. If you want something different, yet you are too afraid to do anything other than what you’re doing, you’ll never be able to achieve anything more than what you have.
They say things like:
“Oh, but Ryan, you don’t understand my situation.”
“Would love to eat better, but it costs too much money.”
“That sounds great, but there isn’t enough time for me to workout.”
“It must be nice to have great genetics.”
“Let me just get through today, so I can worry about that tomorrow.”
If you’re looking for excuses, the list is endless.
If you’re caught yourself making statements like these, you’re more attached to your excuses than you are committed to being deliberate and intentional about your life. A simple and fundamental law of life is: you get to keep what you defend. If you think you need a specific amount of money to start eating better, you’ll always find cheaper options and declining health. If you feel that you just aren’t disciplined enough to make room in your schedule to incorporate a small amount of daily exercise, you’ll always live a less than optimal life. If you believe it’s not possible to be a certain weight or look a certain way because your parents dealt you a bad genetics hand, you’ll continue to be that person. If your mindset is founded on excuses that keep you from moving forward, then you’ll always be where you are, but it’s okay because you’ll always have an excuse.